Sunday 25 September 2011

Bloggin, schmoggin.

Bloggin, schmoggin.

It's a cruel, cruel world... there's so many blogs in this universe. Without a unique angle, a pull, a reason for people to come back, your blog's destined to be read by no one at all. How sad is that prospect. A collection of words lost in a vast universe.... *beautiful*

I may as well be writing in my teenage diary that no one else is supposed to read. An actual fact: I think my mum once found my diary when I was 11 and I'd drawn little pictures of the bitches in my year with little speech bubbles saying 'I'm a massive cow'. I should have made lyrics from my teenage diary into a series of songs, I'd be a fucking Emo goddess by now, with thousands of teenagers cutting themselves to my songs....hindsight's a bitch.

So the point of this post, is to think of ways to make this blog worth having, and worth reading...

At least the woman who posted photo's of her cervix every day had a unique angle www.beautifulcervix.com/ - although, I can't see me sen going to them lengths. Me Camera cost a bob or two, and I don't think it's waterproof.


I'll think on, in the meantime, enjoy yourself with that woman's inner plumbing. Weirdo....

Sunday 15 May 2011

Grumpy

Someone said an interesting thing to me yesterday

"You can't be grumpy on a trampoline"

and I don't profess to people being right often, but do you know what, they were right. I couldn't have the cob on, on a trampoline. Even if I fell off at a jaunty angle and broke my neck.

I also couldn't be grumpy stroking a kitten or lying on a beach having me toes tickled.

Additions to this most welcome...

Listening to:

Saturday 2 April 2011

Happy Muff Day

I’ve been inspired to start adding to my blog again. Me Mam is now a reader (Hi Mum), so no nob or fanny jokes.

Urgh, fanny is such a horrible word. Clunge, that’s a good un, and I’m partial to a bit of muff too. When you start heading down the beef curtains road, there’s no going back until you go down haddock pasty way or past wizards sleeve avenue (I've heard it easy to get out though). I’m going to call it Flower from now on because I’m to going to not disrespect my vagina in such a way.

Willies don’t get a rough a ride as muffs. Nob and cock are pretty standard stuff. No degrading nicknames for a penis...they all come out quite heroic or manly – one eyed trouser snake, pork sword....you get my drift.

So what I’m saying is, let’s be nice about Lady Gardens please.

So, all in all, a mum friendly blog all round, to kick things back off again.

Happy Mothers Day :)


Listening to: